I’ve always been a people pleaser. When people needed me, it somehow proved my worth – to myself. This makes saying no hard. But saying yes to everything doesn’t work. It drains you and leaves your bucket empty. It clutters your life.
Saying yes to everything drains you
and leaves your bucket empty. [Click to Tweet]
I’m trying to learn how to say “no”. In order to have more of me for what is really important. So I can live better among my family, friends and neighbors.
Recently, God has started pointing me to some books to help me think through how to change this.
A friend told me about a book, that sounded intriguing and we decided to read it together then discuss it. That book is Essentialism by Greg McKeown. I have to say it’s been a life changer. Its made me stop and really think through my choices. Giving me a different frame of reference for what I choose and why I choose it.
It is written more from a business point of view (there is absolutely NO Christian bashing), but there are huge applications to personal life.
Some high points that impacted me:
· The same amount of energy split between 20 different things doesn’t have the same impact as that same energy applied to 1 thing.
· You have to protect the asset (YOU). If you are not at your best (Rest is high on the list.) then you won’t have the greatest impact possible.
· It is important to have time to think. Otherwise we make decisions based on the fly rather than with purpose. This also lessens our impact.
· There are always tradeoffs. You have to say no to some things. And that is OKAY. Its best.
Another book also came out recently: The Best Yesby Lysa Terkeurst. Of course, Lysa come from a woman’s perspective and it is framed from a Christian point of view. And YES, I am now reading this one. I’m looking forward to seeing how she frames these ideas.
During the summer, my sister loaned me a book that also recently came out. Finding Spiritual Whitespace by Bonnie Gray. I pulled it out and what do you know? Although it isn’t quite like the other two, it dovetails nicely. This one addresses what real rest is (aka protect the asset in Essentialism).
I don’t think it is an accident that similar themed books from different perspectives are all coming out at the same time. I don’t think I am the only one looking for a way to declutter their live. A reason to say no that doesn’t induce guilt. A way to make our choices have more impact instead of being watered down by the lack of energy and time available to apply to those choices.
If you are in the same boat as I am, I highly recommend these three books.
Do you find yourself struggling with too much life clutter?
Have you found a resource that has helped you?
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A recent blog post by Greg: The Three Word Problem that can destroy your life
photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net //iosphere
photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net //iosphere
