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| Hubby bought this apron for me! |
When recovering from emotional burnout, the worst day is when you start feeling better. That’s when I’m liable to think I can take on the world and I say yes to more things than I can handle. Again.
That’s what got me to this point of wanting to hide in a hole and tell everyone to go away and leave me alone for a very long time!
That and my insane sense of responsibility. It is hard to let things go. To leave things undone. To back away from activities. To let someone else do the job for a change.
But God has been whispering to me for a while now about slowing down. Getting rid of unnecessary activity. Breathing. Finding white space. Letting Him handle things.
First I read Essentialism by Greg McKeown. Then I found The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst. Then I read Finding Spiritual Whitespace by Bonnie Gray. All great books with necessary messages. I knew what I needed to do, but found myself unwilling to walk away from things.
That took me to a place where I had no choice but to step away. I cried at the drop of a hat. I couldn’t focus. I was overwhelmed. Tired and sleepy all the time. It was extremely hard to write.
I knew if I wanted to be healthy (and productive) for the long run, I had to change some things. Cry when I felt like it. Run away (for just a day) and breathe. Laugh more. Say no more. Create more. Pray more. Be still more. Be with God more.
And in that stillness, in the quiet, find the strength that comes from being in the presence of God. Find healing for pain I have locked away inside me for a very long time. And find His joy in exchange for my weariness.
It really comes down to learning to fully trust my Heavenly Father. I thought I did trust Him. It turns out there are some areas of my life I have kept hidden from His healing touch. And now its time. To open my heart and let Him in. I’m sure it won’t be the easiest thing I’ve ever done. But I’m ready for this to truly be done. Its time.
Have you ever found yourself in that overwhelmed place?
What have you done to restore sanity to your life?
If today you find yourself in that place, what is one way you can take steps to restore balance?
Angela, I know exactly what you're talking about! When I wake up feeling overwhelmed I spend extra time with God that morning to draw strength from His presence and bask in His love. Being secure in His love for me is helping me to rid myself of my fear of rejection (what drove me to perfectionism). The verse "whatever you do, do as unto the Lord" is freeing because when we do it to please Him, we aren't worried about whether it pleases anyone else. Trusting Him is a moment-by-moment choice.
God has new habits to teach me – that stepping away from doing more to rest is SO counter intuitive to me! But by His grace…I will learn.